What Does It Mean to be Elegant?

As I progress through my early twenties, I have decided to start making progress towards my lifelong goal of being elegant. I feel like it is part of my heritage; when I look upon my memories of my grandmother, she is the epitome of elegance, and I wish to emulate her. I have put some thought into it and have drawn up a list of parameters, both vague and specific, on the details under which to conduct my life.

 To be elegant means to be graceful in movement and stylish in appearance; an elegant woman is… 

  • fashionable, keeping up on current trends while having own style, combining clothes and accessories into something magnificent. Dresses are a frequent feature of her attire, as are jewelry (watches included), hats, gloves, petticoats, long jackets, and heels. She also has a bag filled with all kinds of
  • known for a particular perfume that is forever associated with her. My great-grandfather told me that every woman should have a scent that is “them”. I took his advice seriously, partially because the elegant grandmother I mentioned earlier wore a distinct enough perfume that even now, years after her passing, when I smell something like it I think of her.
  • owner of a beautiful smile. She has straight, white teeth, and she shows them often.
  • healthy in body shape, a wearer of make-up, and a maintainer of a good hairstyle.

To be elegant means to be dignified; an elegant woman is…

  • light-hearted, humorous, and open.
  • a purveyor of many friendships.
  • ingenious and well read, knowledgable on matters of math and science.
  • simple and neat.
  • tasteful in her interactions with other people, handwriting, wine, and food.
  • effective, refined, dignified, and beautiful.
  • known for expressing restraint, and demonstrating precision and exactness.
  • intuitive, smooth, swift, and functions in all settings and situations with ease.
  • environmentally conscious.
  • a good cook, and can decorate/arrange food in a pleasing way.
  • physically active, perhaps involved in snowboarding, boating, or dancing.
  • artistic, with an emphasis on painting, photography, and writing (including writing letters to people by hand).

To be elegant means to have a house that extends the elegance of a person; this home is…

  • internally and externally minimalistic but luxurious, insinuating wealth without being excessive.
  • exceptionally fine in the kitchen: glass bottles for pouring drinks, cups of flawless glass or crystal (with some gold trim, perhaps) to pour drinks into, vibrantly colored plates, matching bowls, true silverware.
  • made up of themed rooms. Plush carpet coats most of the house’s floors, candles of every kind (in flower “nests”, in candelabras, in candle chandeliers) line the rooms, and antique objects, tapestries, compasses, furniture, seashells, fancy pillows, and such are all mandatory accessories. Silk and lace are the materials of choice.
  • decorates with a plethora of art: paintings, (old) photographs of people and flowers, abstract (colorful) vectors, photographs of landscapes and outer space, Japanese art, to name a few.
  • capable of offering pleasant smelling, expensive cigars for guest (though the lady herself does not smoke).
  • capable of housing only one car per person in the household (excess is of course frowned upon). These cars are of course well maintained, clean, and safe, regardless of age or expense of car.

To be elegant means to love nature and the animals in it; some possibilities include…

  • horses (stable/corral/trails/etc), birds (aviary), butterflies (greenhouse), fish (tropical aquarium; there is even a type of coral named “elegance”), dogs (indoors). All must be well-behaved (within reason).
  • environments for animals that are beautiful.
  • a beautiful garden and other outside environments. This garden has at least fourteen different kinds of flowers, and these flowers are often taken indoors to decorate the rooms.

Insane Progress


In that picture, I am flexing. After six weeks, for the first time in my life, I can see my upper abs. I am really coming along in terms of my body. I look toned and fit and healthy in a way I haven’t before, despite always having an athletic frame.

For now my goals are to continue working out, but also to spend time on freerice.com building up my vocabulary (one of my bucket list items is to learn a new word every day) as well as using my time on the Internet for more intellectual progress. I want to use the Internet to stay up to date on current news and research and I want to use the library to learn about more consistent things, like history. Stuff that isn’t changed that much day to day.

I am actively looking for a new job, and have applied to 30+ jobs recently. I am going to, on the 15th, buckle down in a different way…refine my resume for each job, try out some new cover letter styles (I’ve been experimenting with this already). I hope to find one soon, but we will see. I am, at this point, quite hopeful.

Pattern of quakes from New Zealand to Japan stokes fears of another major disaster

This is one of the reasons I really want to understand scientific concepts on a deeper level… knowing about our world and how it functions is very elegant.



From 5 August, fears of another major earthquake in Japan began to spread on Twitter. The source of the unease was a screenshot from a Japanese talk show, which laid out the following series of earthquakes leading up to the Tohoku earthquake in 2011, alongside a similar series of earthquakes which have struck in recent days.

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New Releases

Reading is very elegant.



The Rathbones by Janice Clark
the rathbonesA gothic, literary adventure set in New England, Janice Clark’s haunting debut chronicles one hundred years of a once prosperous and now crumbling whaling family, told by its last surviving member.







A Thousand Pardons by Jonathan Dee
a thousand pardonsFor readers of Jonathan Franzen and Richard Russo, Jonathan Dee’s novels are masterful works of literary fiction. In this sharply observed tale of self-invention and public scandal, Dee raises a trenchant question: what do we really want when we ask for forgiveness?






The Twenty Year Death by Ariel Winter
twentyA breathtaking first novel written in the form of three separate crime novels, each set in a different decade and penned in the style of a different giant of the mystery genre.






Turn Around Bright Eyes by Rob Sheffield

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Knowledgeable on Matters of Math and Science

So, I recently joined my local public library with the intent of doing some studying both in their physical library and in their ebooks. I’ve decided I want to become well-versed in some matters that I haven’t been before, namely science and math, but also history–mostly because that pertains highly to what I’m writing. 

My main problem with the library is that the information isn’t up to date. Most of these books are REALLY old and I’m not sure how pertinent they are anymore. The world of information is changing so quickly that I’m really not sure what is going to happen to our concept of the library…

Wilbur’s Summer Reads

Reading frequently and across a variety of topics is very elegant.


Hi. I’m Wilbur, and here is my summer reading list of my top 7 recommendations for you’re consideration. I apologize for going over 5 but what can I say – I’m outta control, no rules here. I’m supposed to mention my favorite place to read, but lets just say it is alway important to me to have a book on me as often as possible. I’m that guy you see always reading a book in line.

1.   TheUntethered Soul by Michael A Singer.
This is among my top ten all-time spiritual/self help guides. It’s just so simply written and speaks right to your heart. It’s how to get control of that nagging and unproductive voice in your head and to unattach from it. The author teaches you how to stay spiritually “on path.” The suggestions offered are clear and I spend many readings using it as a daily inspiration.

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5 Songs You Should Be Listening To Right Now

Whether these particular musical choices are the best or not is irrelevant; picking music that is quality and that people enjoy is elegant, however.

Thought Catalog

Finding new music could really be a full-time job, especially if you’re looking for all that cool stuff that doesn’t always make it to mainstream radio. We already know the Song of Summer is “Blurred Lines,” a great song production-wise, but it gets played so much that I just can’t listen to it A.N.Y.M.O.R.E. So could you please stop blasting it, neighbors. If you too are suffering from “Blurred Lines” fatigue, here are 5 songs to take you into a whole new musical universe.

“You Know You Like It,” by AlunaGeorge

AlunaGeorge is EVERYTHING right now. Aluna Francis and George Reid (now do u get it?) are the London-based electronic duo with sick hooks and strong, super addictive vocals. They rose to fame with a track they did with Disclosure called “White Noise,” currently on that band’s debut LP, but now they are set to take the globe by…

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Known for Expressing Restraint

I have always been pretty mild mannered and able to be calmed down easily in the rare event that I’ve become riled up. As of late, however, probably because I’m not getting the kind of physicality I’m used to due to my long distance relationship, I have been… testy, to say the least. So I figure this is probably the best time to really work on expressing restraint.

My goal is to talk intelligently and calmly on any subject. I think that in the past being elegant meant refraining from discussing certain topics–like sex, politics, and so on if you were a woman in particular–but I don’t think it needs to be that way now. I think anything can be discussed but you have to be careful with how you do it.

For example, you can talk about politics and religion if you tread very carefully and make sure to NEVER make it seem like you look down on someone for thinking differently and it’s probably best if you word things so that it sounds like you are agreeing with them anyway, or ask questions so that you can understand them better. You can present alternate sides, but I actually think it’s best if you have some kind of way to prove what you are saying, so it may be wise to say something like, “Wow, I realize that you want to talk about this, but I’d rather we come back to it later.” Then, if they seem interested in that idea, you can kind of get some research to back up what you are saying, so if it comes up: “well, you can’t PROVE it,” you can at least have something to offer. I wouldn’t suggest writing a novel or anything, but just something to back up what you are saying can help diffuse things if people get angry. I think the most important thing is to not name call and not get worked up when talking with them. YOU need to stay calm no matter what, and change the conversation if it gets out of hand, before a friendship is broken.

Likewise, I think talking about people–exes, current lovers, children, parents, etc–that are frustrating you for whatever reason isn’t the most elegant choice one cold make. I think that the negative things you have to say about someone should just be kept to yourself, unless you are in some really significant crisis and need feedback. I feel like when you talk about the bad things about someone it just makes you more sensitive to them, and it sometimes invites a third or fourth or fifth person into a relationship and relationship issue that should stay between the primary people. You have no idea what may get back to the person you are talking about, and I think it is just overall better if you talk mainly about the positive things and as minimally as possible about the negative. In line with this, you should downplay your complaints in general–particularly those about your health. No one cares or wants to hear about you being sick or whatever unless it is somehow relevant to them: they are your employer and need to know you are not coming in because you are sick (even then you probably don’t need to go into detail), because they are your doctor, or if they specifically ask.

Anytime you want to talk about yourself should also be carefully monitored. I believe there are ways to talk about things you are currently doing without being a braggart, but it’s a fine line to walk. You don’t ever want to talk about something that makes the other person feel bad–you want to bring them up–so you have to read them and see what is okay to talk about. For example, if they are single and hurting, talking a lot about your wonderful boyfriend may not be the best idea. On the other hand, they may be a great person to brainstorm with on your latest book project.


Physical Progress

  1. Goal: to be Healthy in Body Shape. As of yesterday, I started week three of Insanity (and eating well). I’ve made a lot of good choices and I’m at the point now where I don’t have terrible cravings for bad food. I’ve lost six pounds and three inches since I started this. Keeping up a trend like that would get me to my goal weight and size by the time Insanity is done, but I don’t think that the significant losses will keep up (except maybe in the inches department).
  2. Goal: to be Fashionable. The big problem I’m coming up against now is that none of my clothes fit properly anymore. I’ve decided that I want a large closet–like 150 solid days worth of outfits. I want to build it up fast and hard after I’m at my ideal body size and weight, and then pretty much never buy clothes in bulk again. Of course once a year I’ll trade out stuff I never wear, or that I don’t like, and give it to GoodWill and replace it with something else, but after being poor for so long and being so limited with my clothing choices, I’m really going to go the opposite direction for a while. I’m not sure if it’s elegant to look at this subject like this, but being well dressed is, and while I’ve done it on a budget for a long time, I am looking forward to the time when I can buy clothes and not really care.

    Like I said in the posts about the house, for a while I want to focus on the superficial stuff, because for the most part that can be completed quickly, and once that is freed up in my mind, I’ll have more time to focus on the more meaningful life changes. 

  3. Goal: to have a Scent Entirely Your Own. The perfume/scent that I like so much has been discontinued, so I’ll need to find something else to fit that aspect. I suppose I may have to leave behind Bath and Body works and find a “real” perfume line, but I love the scents they have there and that I can get lotion and soap and body spray all with the same smell. I wonder if having a particular scent for like a year and then moving on would be acceptable? 
  4. Goal: to have a Beautiful Smile. I went to the orthodontist yesterday. I’ll have my molds made of my teeth on August 6th, and I will have the braces put on after that. I should have them on for about 14 months, which is amazing to think that in a really short amount of time I will be able to have the smile I’ve always wanted!

I’ll keep updating my progress on this and the apartment as they get done. I’m also thinking about (once I start working) taking Iroh (my dog) to a professional dog trainer, and my cousin’s dog (a border collie) to agility training. This will help make some progress towards the goal of having well-trained animals under my control. 

An 8-Step Vagina Manual For Those Not In Possession Of One

Having a healthy sex life is also very elegant.

Thought Catalog

Look, guys, I don’t blame you for not always knowing about vaginas. They’re complicated. Beautiful, but complicated. I would have directed this to everybody but as I have seen in my own experiences with lesbian sex, people who own one tend to know how to handle one. And so, I present to you, a user’s manual for the vagina if you are not in possession of one:

1. It does not want to be poked or prodded.

This isn’t like an arcade game. You don’t hit it enough times and then, whoop! You’ve won! There’s the orgasm! It needs some tender, passionate loving. It needs to be caressed in the right places, with steady speed and pressure.

2. Tongue, people. Tongue.

If you ask a girl what she wants and she’s like, oh, I don’t care, allow me to translate this for you: to stick your tongue all up in…

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9 Counterintuitive Rules For Happiness

Being happy is definitely elegant.

Thought Catalog

Happiness might just be a state of mind—but there are concrete things that give you a better shot at being happy. If you’d like to stack the odds in favor of your own bliss, here’s a cheat sheet.

1. Men: get in a relationship, women: get out of one

The Chicago Sun-Times took a survey and found that the majority (78%) of men would remarry their spouses while another study found that only half of women would do the same.

When men get into a relationship they get something they don’t already have: sex and someone they can talk to on a deeper level. Women already have this. Sex is much more readily available for women than it is for men and they can talk about everything on the face of the earth with their girlfriends—something much less common in male friendships.

2. Reconsider your “dream city”

Where you live…

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